I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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