I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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