We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
