He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
