Do vagina's smell?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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