Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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