Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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