Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
