oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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