is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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