@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
