dude i'm inner monologue high
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
