Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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