We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
