So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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