I faked an abortion last night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
