Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
