tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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