SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i now understand why vodka
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
