All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
