her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
