Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
