No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
