I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
