i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Are we still banned from the library?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
