The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
