Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
