Sry I called you an 8
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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