haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
