just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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