She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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