Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
as a side note pls kill me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
