well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
