im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
