Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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