smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
