still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
