over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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