Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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