JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
