my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The power of my boobs compel you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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