Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
