did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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