Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
