It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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