I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
