yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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