I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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