i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
