he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
