party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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